Orange

It's really not my color. But today I proudly wear it. At least a version of it. Today we are a family of orange.
All in honor of Stellan!

Heaven, Dylan and babies.....

Caleb has dealt with the concept of death and heaven from an extremely young age. 14 months to be exact. Not exactly the age I would like my children to learn about death. Of course at 14 months Caleb was a college scholar and fully grasped and understood death. Yeah right. At 14 months all Caleb knew was that mommy and daddy were sad and mommy cried a lot. But somehow, he knew. He was extra cuddly, hugs and kisses were over abundantly given out by him, he was extra funny, always trying to make us smile. He was our joy during an un-joyful time. Caleb didn't know or understand that he had a baby brother. Nor did he understand that his brother was in heaven, or what heaven was.

Fast forward...

One year ago my Grandma passed away. She had a long hard life filled with pain and suffering because of Multiple Sclerosis. After she had gone home to be with Jesus, we went over to her house to help with picture boards for her funeral. When we were getting in the car Caleb and I had an interesting conversation.

Caleb: Mom, I wanted to see the Grandma who's always in her rocking chair, the one in all those pictures, where was she tonight?

Mom: Well baby, she died, so she's in heaven now.

Caleb: But mom, I didn't want her to die.

Mom: I know sweetie, I didn't want her to die either. But she's with Jesus now.

Caleb: What city does Jesus live in?

Mom: Jesus is in heaven.

Caleb: What state is heaven in?

Mom: Well Heaven is it's own City and State. Heaven is up in the sky, farther than we can even imagine.

Caleb: (as he looks out the car window) Mom, I don't see a city up there, I only see clouds.

And that was that. He asked his questions and moved on.

Fast Forward....

About six months ago Caleb asked me when Dylan was going to get better so he could come home from heaven and live with us. Wow. What a hard one to answer. I mean it's not hard, because I know the answer. But hard to explain for a five year old who is still trying so hard to figure out death and heaven and all the stuff that five year olds really shouldn't have to figure out.

Fast forward....

Yesterday after leaving the Childrens Museum we were getting the kids loaded in the car and there was a truck parked next to us that had a full back seat in it, which would probably be a dream vehicle for my husband. I said something about if we only have one more baby then we could probably get a truck like that someday. (For a while now Caleb has been saying he wants two more babies in our family and not just one, so I told him he would need to pray for twins since I am only going to be pregnant one more time, so he consistently prays for twins for us) So he said he didn't want us to get a truck like that because he wanted two more babies. And then he said "Mom, when you have another baby in your tummy I want that baby to come out instead of going to heaven like Dylan did"........wow. Tear jerker.

Caleb has come a long way in his understanding of life, death and heaven. Just the other day we drove by the cemetery where Dylan is buried and he said "hey I know that place, it's where we go to see Dylan. I mean not really Dylan, but his picture that's on the ground, because Dylan is in heaven"


There really is no specific reason for this blog, other than I want to be able to remember these conversations with Caleb and I want him to be able to come back and read these entries someday.

And no, I am not pregnant with twins, I am not pregnant at all.

Easter!!

Right off the bat, I'll apologize right now that I have no pictures to share. I mean, I do have pictures to share, I just don't have the ability to share them! I forgot my camera cord in Texas, so the pictures are all trapped on my camera until the beginning of May! My kids looked adorable though, trust me. We were actually able to get a great family picture which I was really happy about! We needed an updated one!

We had a great Easter!! We are watching our four nephews for the week, so I was in charge of hiding their Easter baskets! They said to make them hard, so I did. They needed clues to find them, so I guess I did it too hard! We don't hide our kids' baskets so they didn't have to go on a hunt. Church was great. It was very nice to be home and go to our home church again. It was great to be in a place that truly celebrates Easter and not some bunny that came hopin into town! After church we went to my sister in law's parents house. (the nephews' Grandparents house) The boys all had a great time being with their cousins. David & I had a great time as well. They all feel like family so we didn't feel out of place.

After our big lunch we headed back home (our current home, which is David's brothers house) and I started on the one thing I dread EVERY year. Taxes. Yuck. The one financial responsibility I wish I could give to David. However, I love him too much to do that to him. Anything related to finances is not his strength. But they are done. Now I don't have to think of them again for another year. Maybe next year we'll get a refund....instead of the other way around.

Hope you all had a great Easter.

100

100 - Nothing like having a $100 bill in your wallet!

100 - I always thought it was fun to celebrate the 100th day of school.

100 - I'm always amazed when someone lives to be 100.

100 - Not sure I want to live to that age.

100 - The # of pounds I could stand to loose.

100 - Caleb is working on counting this high.

100 - Far too hot of a temperature for me.

100 - I have never been in a car going this fast....that would be freaky!

100 - x10 is how many miles I will be driving tomorrow!

100 - This is my 100th post. :)

Just a quick update....

Our lives in Texas are pretty much packed up and coming to an end. This week we will be going to an Easter party with our playgroup, which will be our last event. I'm happy to get to see everyone one more time. I'm going to miss them all so much! That group has made our lives bearable while we've been here! We have also connected with a family from church and I am hoping to get together with them one more time this week.
Early Thursday morning (I'm hoping for 5:30am) we are pulling out of town!!! The kids and I spent last Easter without David and I refuse to do that again this year, so that was our initial reason for going up this week. But now we'll be helping out my brother in law & sister in law. They are headed on a 15th Anniversary trip to a nice sunny destination! Just what they need after a freezing cold winter in MN and super busy schedules! So I will get to see what it's like to get up and get four boys off to school while taking care of my youngsters! I don't think God has called me to be a mother of six, but I can certainly handle it for a week!
At the end of April I will be driving back down to move everything up. David will fly down a couple days after me, not sure how he is always the one who gets to fly and I am the one who gets to drive....oh wait....he's the one who works so I can stay home with the kids. :) I *think* it is going to work out for me to leave the kids up in MN when we come back down here to move, which would be a HUGE blessing! I can only imagine how much faster we can get things done without the kids here!!! I have one more day that I need to figure out where they will be and then we'll be set! Thank you Jodi & Jolene!!!! Also, David's parents are flying down to help us with the move. We are excited to see them and very thankful that they wanted to come help us!
We are excited to get everything and everyone settled in our new place! We don't plan to move for quite a while and for that I am thankful. I know anything can happen, but I'm just going to trust God that we can stay put for quite some time!!